Posts tagged personal

aw thank you baby girl.  I had a lovely Mothers Day<3<3<3

(Source: ifwewerefeckless)

PLEASE WORK THROUGH YOUR FEARS BECAUSE YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL JUST AS YOU ARE!

YOUR LIFE WILL SURELY BLOSSOM WITH PROMISE

BUT YOU MUST TRUST!

TRUST US YOUR FAMILY,TRUST YOUR TREATMENT TEAM

BELIEVE IN US AND KEEP LOOKING AND FORGING AHEAD

AND  WHEN THAT MONSTER STEPS IN YOUR WAY

REFUSE TO LISTEN

BECAUSE THE WORDS IT SPEWS ARE NOTHING BUT THE BASELESS LIES OF A COWARDLY BULLY

IT WANTS TO STOP YOU AND DRAG YOU BACK 

BUT PLEASE DON’T LET IT

IT’S TAKEN ENOUGH,

ENOUGH FROM YOU

ENOUGH FROM US

ENOUGH FROM SO MANY OTHERS

YOU KNOW BETTER NOW, SO DON’T LET IT WIN

YOU HAVE A LIFE TO LIVE DAMN IT!

SO DON’T QUIT EVER

<3<3<3

The other day my daughter received this ask from an anon.  And it absolutely made my boil.   

Correct me if I am wrong, I see it like this from what I read on here. When your with your family you seem to have eating problems, When you were in Sydney you didnt seem to have a problem with food. You seemed so happy. So maybe it’s your family that triggers it by always saying you need to eat. Be strong and get away from them as fast as you can.

I will not post her reply but she did a pretty good job of telling this MORON off and grrr  i just want to rant and vent  about it too. 

Seriously the person that wrote this message is so wrong.  This truly drives me crazy when people with no clue about what it is like to have a child with Anorexia make jugdments on what sort of parent you are and how it must be the parent or family’s fault.  It is so off base it is laughable.  

If you EDUCATE yourself anon you will realise that family dynamic is only one  part of the overall complex equation.  as much as 60 -80 % of a persons risk of eds comes from genetic factors.  Now add to the mix trauma, big or little it does not matter, then add media and peer pressure and don’t forget to add the ordinary pressures and hormones of adolescence, now add the parents and family who granted like me may not be the perfect parents (but I tell you what parent and family is).  All this has the potential to create the perfect storm a hey presto you have an eating disorder. It can not be blamed on one single factor EVER.  

This dip shit should get off it’s  judgemental high horse and put themselves in a parents shoes for just a minute.  Lets say they were told their child has anorexia.  If they think giving her a cuddle and waiting for her to eat when she is ready is going to work for them , they are in for one heck of a rude shock. What would they do when their child won’t eat no matter what they do. What will they do When within a matter of weeks they watch their child lose 10 kg, and becomes so thin she is at risk of cardiac problems and other major health risks and hospital admission looms.  

What will they do? Are they going to do NOTHING or are they going to do what needs to be done to help their child.   If they are a smart parent they will take a stand,  not against their  daughter but the anorexia which controls her.  They hopefully  learn pretty quickly that they need to feed their daughter, watch their daughter,  constantly encourage eating and they will need to  insist that there is an expectation she must eat to live.  You tell your daughter that you won’t , not while you have a breath left in you, let her be taken by this illness. There are tantrums, there are arguments, there are power struggles that result, that is all part of this illness. Your once happy vibrant child now hates you for your intervention.  As a result of family intervention the anorexia morphs and change and finds new ways to protect itself and keeps its hold. There will be new tactics, new behaviours, and attempts to escape recovery (LIKE LEAVING HOME) . 

People stand in judgement of family’s and parents because they see nothing but the superficial effects they do not realise how the eating disorder controls the person,and manipulates everyone,  they do not realise that when the person is deep in their disorder they CANNOT make the choice to feed them selves, keep themselves safe or make rational choices about treatment. Onlookers do not understand just how hard it is to keep someone in a safe zone who is hell bent on starving.   The person with anorexia may look healthy, may look rational, may appear to be doing really well but inside they can be a mess. And at this time they need support from family more than ever even though they may fight it.  They need people around them to be united in their support and to get the facts and information about how to help them. They do not need people judging them saying ridiculous things like people with Ed’s  are shallow and vain and they must have controlling families

I just shudder to think how many people would be DEAD if family’s and friends did not intervene.  And I shudder to think of the people who are dead because NOBODY intervened or intervention came to late.    

So to this person that is telling my daughter to get away from her family GET THIS.  My daughter has more chance of constructing a nuclear weapon out of paper clips than she has of acting on hunger cues and walking to the kitchen and making a vegemite sandwich right now.Let alone a meal of any substantial nutritional value.  And the simple act of leaving home and the watchful eye of her family is not going to make a shred of difference to that fact.     What you take for granted as easy is not easy for her at all.  What you think is a solution  i.e getting away from her family is a shallow bandaid measure and very dangerous at best.  

GET EDUCATED! AND DON’T FUCKING BOTHER MY KID WITH YOUR BLATANT STUPIDITY